No One's Master But Mine
by Magica Draconia
Summary: Sometimes, the wand isn't the only thing that chooses the wizard. Sometimes, familiars choose their wizard, too. Whether the wizard likes it or not…


**Title:** No One's Master But Mine

 **Author:** magika_draconia

 **Other pairings/threesome:** None

 **Rating:** PG

 **Content/Warning(s):** None

 **Prompt:** Severus gets adopted by a snake, much to Harry's amusement. Not because of Severus' exasperated reactions, but because he can communicate with the snake.

* * *

"Ah, Harry? I believe I may require your assistance."

Surprised, as he'd never thought those words would ever be uttered even in jest, Harry Potter-Snape made his way towards the area of their backyard that had been set aside for potions ingredients.

His husband was kneeling beside a large bush, one arm awkwardly outstretched. A slim cream and brown coloured snake was wrapped around the limb.

"What…?" was all he could manage.

Severus looked up at him and grimaced. "I was reaching under the bush to get the Moly blossoms, when I discovered . . . this," he said. "It reared up when I disturbed it, then it _lunged_ at me. Now it won't let go, and I daren't shake it off."

Harry supposed that was a sensible choice to make. Even if the snake wasn't actually poisonous – and it looked like a common grass snake to Harry – shaking it wouldn't exactly make it any happier. Kneeling at Severus' side, he moved a hand towards the snake's head, hoping to grab it just at the base of its skull.

 _DON'T TOUCH THE MASTER!_ the snake hissed at him, its head rearing up from Severus' arm. _He's my Master – mine! You will not lay hands on my Master!_

Harry jerked backwards, letting out a surprised noise. Severus stared at him.

"What?" he demanded. "What did it say?"

"Um…" Harry tried to swallow a grin, but suspected he wasn't all that successful. "It says I'm not allowed to touch its 'Master'."

Severus' jaw dropped, and his gaze shot downwards to the snake, now snuggling itself contentedly around his forearm again.

"Absolutely not!" he said, firmly. "I am _no one's_ master. Now kindly remove yourself from my arm at once!"

The snake made a noise that Harry could only describe as a **coo**. _Of course my Master is no one else's Master,_ it said, happily. _My Master is only MY Master._

Both Harry and Severus stared at the snake for a moment, then Severus gave Harry a side-eyed glance. "That," he said, dryly, "did not sound like it was agreeing to go its own way again."

Still trying unsuccessfully to stop grinning, Harry finally gave in and laughed. "It's pleased that you've not been anyone's 'Master' before," he said. He went to clap Severus on the back, but a beady-eyed glare from the snake stopped him. "Congrats, Sev. Looks like you've got yourself a new pet!"

" _Hmph!_ " said Severus and the snake, unintentionally in unison, and Harry laughed even harder.

* * *

"Um, Harry? Why does Severus have a grass snake draped around his neck?" Hermione asked, cautiously, a few days later when she and Ron had called in to visit Harry.

Harry laughed as he handed a mug of tea to them both. "Sev found her in the garden, and now she won't leave him alone," he said, retreating to the kitchen for his own mug. "She keeps insisting that he's her master."

There was a spluttering sound from Ron. "What?" he croaked, juggling his mug in an attempt to avoid spilling it. "You mean that snake's _real_?! I thought it was a fake!"

Harry and Hermione both blinked at him. "You think Severus is the type of person to go round wearing a toy snake?" Hermione wondered out loud. Ron blushed, and buried his face in his mug.

* * *

 _No! Master is not leaving me outside the smelly room! Master will only get himself in trouble!_

"Harry!"

Following the sound of agitated hissing, Harry found Severus standing in the doorway to his potions lab. The snake – who still didn't have a name – was wrapped so tightly around Severus' throat that he had to lift his chin to be able to breathe.

"Kindly tell her that I have potions that need tending to, and she must remove herself immediately," said Severus, his voice strained.

 _Master is not to go off on his own!_ the snake hissed, her tongue flickering out to lap around Severus' jaw. _Master will get into danger without me!_

Harry coughed to disguise his chuckle, although from the glare Severus gave him, he hadn't quite managed it. "She thinks it's too dangerous for you," he informed his husband.

Severus scowled. "I am a fully qualified Potions Master!" he stated indignantly. "I know _exactly_ what I'm doing!"

 _Last time Master locked me out of the smelly room, Master almost burnt his hand off!_ the snake retorted. _Master is not going in there without me!_

"She thinks you're going to burn yourself, or something similar," said Harry, his amusement fading a little. Severus was as careful as he could be, but even the simplest thing could unexpectedly go wrong.

Severus looked at Harry for a moment, then sighed. "Very well. If she agrees to stay within the Bubble-Head Charm I put on us both, then she may remain in the lab with me," he conceded.

The snake gave a small hum of satisfaction as she wriggled into a position that wasn't quite so restraining for Severus. _Good Master, learning to listen to me_ , she crooned.

"No, don't tell me," said Severus, as Harry began chuckling again. "I don't think I want to know..."

* * *

 _No, no, no! What are you doing? You are not allowed to touch the Master!_

Harry groaned, his head falling onto Severus' shoulder. "I thought you left her in the living room?"

"I did!" Severus shivered. "How in Merlin's name did she get through the door?"

 _Master needs protecting_ , the snake said indignantly, as she slid up and onto the bed beside them. _How can Master be protected if I cannot get to him? Silly Master._

"I'm his husband. He doesn't need protecting from _me_ ," Harry informed her, lifting his head to glare at her.

"I don't need protecting at all, if anyone cares to realise that," muttered Severus. His hands slid off Harry's back.

Harry sat up, his mood now well and truly deflated. "Look, this is the third time you've interrupted us," he said to the snake. "You may be Severus' familiar—"

"Not that I asked for one," Severus grumbled.

"—but I'm his husband, and that means that there are going to be times when we _want_ to be alone together. You can't be with him every second of every day."

The snake coiled and uncoiled as it thought about this. _Master wants this touch?_ she asked Severus, eventually, sounding as if she wanted to be hopeful he'd disagree, but was already resigned to the fact that he wouldn't.

Severus rolled his eyes at her. " _Yes_ , 'Master' wants this touch," he agreed. "Kindly go away so we can get back to it."

With a huff, the snake slithered off the bed and out of the room. Severus breathed a sigh of relief and turned back to Harry, who was gaping at him. Severus gave him a puzzled look.

"You answered her," Harry said, blankly.

"Of course I did. She asked a question," replied Severus, still puzzled.

Harry shook his head. "Sev, _she was speaking in parseltongue_! You shouldn't have _understood_ her!"

"I—" Severus paused, blinked, then blinked again. "She was speaking parseltongue?" he queried. "Are you sure?"

"Sev!" Harry smacked his husband on the shoulder. "Of course I'm sure!"

"Maybe it's something to do with the familiar bond." Severus frowned, thoughtfully. "I wonder if it stretches to all snakes?"

Harry shook his head and laughed. "Why don't we wait until later to test it?" he suggested, sliding back down to rest on top of Severus. "After all, we're finally voyeur free . . ."

"So we are," Severus murmured, and reached up to pull Harry's head down to kiss him.

* * *

Outside, near the Moly blossoms, the snake hissed in delight. _Children, I've found us a wonderful home . . . !_


End file.
